We all want to be part of something new, something big, something important. But when we get there, these are the things that elude us. The big always passes us by. The small always takes prevalence. For me, life has been filled with almost too many ups and downs. It took me my entire lifetime to find my happy. However, I saw it, knew it and felt it years ago. It was the first time I went fishing as an adult. And when that fly rod was handed to me, I knew I was home. For it wasn’t just the remembering of a lifetime of fishing that got me, not even the fish that I caught that day. It was the life and love that I had found within my own loop that brought me home. Something so small, the perfect circle, something you never think of. But the sound of the loop when it reaches its full potential, is the big I had always been looking for.
I hadn’t fished at all as a young adult or even into my early adulthood, but I knew the moment I heard that noise, that I had found what I was supposed to do. We focus so much of our time on our mistakes, on our sadnesses, our failures. And we forget to remember the perfection of our happy. Where were you? Were you alone when the biggest moment of your life happened? And it is a profound moment that we should share with others. Were you by yourself?
Up, down, in, out and around. These are the things that we strive for, but never achieve. However, isn’t it the thing we always want most that is so far away? There was always a sadness to me, my talents hidden, my smile far away, my graces not known. And when that sweet sound of the loop passed my ear and the sun hit just right, it was golden. And over the years, as it became tighter, I knew this is what I wanted to do. You see, I never wanted to be a fly fisherman. It never even entered my mind. But when something so profound, as hearing your own being, flying by your ear, touching god on the way up and down; you finally know that it was that thing you always knew how to do, but never understood.
To this day, some of my favorite times, are during my casting lessons. To help someone else find their loop is amazing. And when I hear their loop for the first time, after hours of casting, it is something that brings life. Sometimes there are tears, sometimes there are high fives. But really, it’s a joy to teach others what brought and what brings me peace within my own loop. And then to watch my students as they pass their loop onto their own children; is really what it’s about. This is what the perfection of the loop, in the end, is all about.
We all want to be a part of something big, something new, something real. But who knew it would be the real in my own loop. My own perfection, my perfect circle, my calling and my life wrapped up all in one. These are the moments that we should remember. These are the moments that make us, us. And they allow us to understand why we strive for the things that we do. It is the smallest of moments that become the real reel in the end. And for all of these things, I am truly blessed.